In Andrew Forshoefels book Walking to Listen: 4,000 Miles Across America, One Story at a Time, I really felt like I went for the adventure. Andrew at 23 years old walks across the united states to listen to the stories of other people and asks for their advice about how to navigate through life. While I was reading this I thought about how I am the same age he was when he was walking. The way he wrote his book made me feel like these people were talking to me. All the stories he heard and listened to I felt like I listened to. The way he wrote his book was so beautiful. You really get to go into the adventure of his mind and of others all while knowing there is no way he could put his whole experience on paper.
Even still, the small bit I was able to experience brought me to one conclusion, love. And how nothing in this life is determined. I don’t know when I will die and I do not know who will be by my side in those moments. I do know that none of us are alone. We all have the same thoughts, the same questions, the same doubts. While reading about his journey of finding himself, I remembered my own.
Sometimes I have hated being human. Sometimes I have felt like we have nothing good to contribute to this world. Sometimes I feel like we destroy things that are beautiful. And we do. We can be full of anger and hate. We can destroy our bodies, we can destroy our planet, sometimes we destroy the lives of other humans not realizing they are just like us.
Most times though, we are love. Most times people are so kind. I believe that showing love and acceptance is the way to help someone grow into who they are meant to become. Someone told me once “Relationships are what makes us human” and from my perspective, that couldn’t be more true. Love is what makes us human. I am talking about real love. True love. True acceptance for another person and listening to them and truly hearing them. Not trying to change a single thing about them because you love exactly who they are at that moment and every moment after.
Love is what makes us human. I try to show everyone I pass the same love that I would show to my closest friends and family. The same type of acceptance for who they are without interfering with my morals and values. Love in every aspect, not only in a romantic way. This book brought me on a journey to remember to accept myself even more. Every day I appreciate and accept myself for who I am more than the day before. This book brought to light how I have come to accept my past. I remember that the present is the only thing that really matters. I am reminded to love every moment I am in. To take all the good life has to offer day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute.
I am so grateful for the “walk” I have already made through life even though I know I have a lot more to go. I have followed my heart and it has guided me to where I am now which is an amazing place to be. By staying true to myself, I feel like I go on a new journey every day. I long for someone to share my life with and I remember the connection I have made long ago.
This book reminds me that I do feel like something is missing. I feel like someone is missing. I believe it is okay to want someone to spend life with and enjoy moments together. To laugh and create adventures together. To have a partnership. Self-growth was needed for me to get to this point. I needed to create my own life without a partner, I needed to grow so I would be able to love someone else fully. I needed to find my way before I found my way back to you. I had so many things that I needed to figure out in order to love you in my best capability and I will continue to learn every day.
I am reminded of a relationship that had such a deep connection and at the time I didn’t know how to handle that feeling. I am hopeful though that I will find that again. With him hopefully. I know that our paths may not cross again in the same way they did before. I know that there is a lot to learn. I long for that connection again. With everything I have learned I feel like I am able to give him the love he deserves because I have found the same type of love inside of me.
Without the years of distance, I wouldn't have found my heart. I would have just been his shadow. I miss him. I miss the times we spent together that I haven’t been able to spend with another human being in the same way. He was one of my best friends, my lover, my partner, and I left him to find me. I feel like I have found myself. That doesn’t mean I am not still learning though. While we all have the same basic needs, the connection we feel with others can be different.
I used to think that people were all the same. And in a sense, I believe we still are. We all want love and acceptance. We just have different paths to finding that. I hope one day I can walk side by side, hand in hand, on the same trail again with him. That all of this time apart was just a little detour on our walk together.
And if not, I am so happy I was able to spend the moments I did have with him. I am so happy to have that connection even if it was only for a short amount of time. I don’t wish anything in the past was different. After all these years there hasn’t been a day that goes by that he doesn’t cross my mind. This book was a reminder that life isn’t promised. If we don’t make the jump, we will not find what we are looking for.
I may have lost him while I was finding myself. The only thing I can do now is put myself out there. Show my vulnerability. Show my heart and how I feel. Express my thoughts and my feelings to him.
That is what life is all about. Being vulnerable. There is no telling what he will think and how he will feel. I only know how I feel. Sometimes we get multiple chances at something or someone. Sometimes we get those chances and they pass us by because we don’t take the opportunity to show who we are.
Sometimes we put ourselves out there to get rejected and that is okay. The people you can create a life with will accept you for all you are. All your strengths and all your weaknesses. I love him for all of his. I choose to accept him for everything he is. I choose to give him the love that he gives me.
This book reminded me about how we should all be walking to listen. Walking to listen to our own stories and to others. Walking to listen to our partners, our families, our friends. Most importantly we should walk to hear our inner being. That way we can accept who we are. We can love ourselves in a way that allows us to have such acceptance for others. The same acceptance we have found within.
Quote to reference for this post:
“He only listed one word to explain why love didn’t work: “Hate.” love might’ve worked, if only he’d known how to, but no one can learn how to love on their own. We need one another for that. It might be the thing that makes us human: we need one another. But that is something that has to be learned, too, and taught.” Andrew Forsthoefel in his book Walking to Listen: 4,000 Miles Across America, One Story at a Time
Song to contribute to this post:
Harmonize by Rising Appalachia
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