I was cooking dinner, listening to an audiobook when it mentioned how important family is. How no one else in this world particularly cares about how my day is going as much as the people I come home to. (Or in my current case a dog and a cat) Thinking about the foundation of my core values, I realize it all stems from my immediate family and the environment I was raised in. I realize that all those family dinners we had were so important to me. How all those moments of ups and downs taught me how to really commit to someone and love them in the best way I know how. I learned no matter how mad or sad we may get, we are still all here together, and that makes everything okay. I don’t live with them anymore and will not have the same closeness in that way as I once did but that foundation still stays. That foundation gets me excited about creating a world like that myself.
The dining table that I scratched my name into because I was so angry that I had to sit down and do my homework back in 5th grade. That table is still in my parent’s dining room. The room that I painted and redecorated every, single, year, still is just how I left it. The hole in the front screen window that I put there so I could get into the house when I forgot my keys. The buffet in the dining room that I still don’t know how to shut correctly. All of these little things add to one big memory. I tend to get attached to things when it's not the things that matter and it's important to let things go.
When I first started driving I would drive to my dance classes. I hit at least 3 poles. My dad noticed right away. The time when I was grounded from my phone for a month because I snuck out of the house. Now I look back and laugh at how they hid my phone in my own room because they knew I would look LITERALLY everywhere else. And I did. I tore apart my parent's room, my brother's room, the basement, the kitchen, even the bathroom closet just to find out it was in my room in my closet the entire time. I remember my high school boyfriend and I would lay in his driveway at night looking at the stars and talking. He was my best friend for two years. Bike riding to his house, learning about him and his family. He is an amazing human and I hope he is doing well.
Crazy how fast life passes by. How I felt like I was never going to get my license and then once I got it, I fell asleep, woke up, and was in college. Remembering how I thought time moved so slow and now I know I will not have those moments again. What I have experienced, will not happen again. Not in the same way, ever. Knowing that and keeping that in mind reminds me to live every day as it will never happen again. Because these moments won’t. Whether that be good or bad. I will look back at this time and think wow that was the foundation. The foundation for something that I don’t know about yet. These moments play a very important role in my life. I’ve taken time for granted before and I try not to anymore.
While not every day is perfect and I do have my hard times, I recognize that they will not last. That any sad feelings I have won’t be here forever. That my feelings of anxiety are all that I put into it. I get to decide my outcome, I get to create my reality by the choices I make and the viewpoints I decide to have. I have my parents especially to thank for that. Thank you for holding me accountable to a point that I thought was unreasonable. My parents raised me in the best way that worked for my personality. Of course, I don’t know any other way, but if they would have done anything differently, I wouldn’t be where I am right now. And I love where I am right now. Of course, I have things to work on but my parents could not have done a better job. Being a parent seems like it would be so difficult and they did their absolute best and their best was astounding in my opinion.
When I turned 19 I thought to myself “Wow, my parents were becoming parents at this time” I don’t know how they did it. I don’t know how they were able to develop their own lives and nurture their relationship while also having a whole other life to take care of and nurture at the same time. I do know it wasn’t easy. Having a family never is ‘easy’ but it’s worth it. It is worth every single moment. Every high point and every low point. Through every screaming match and every dance party, I had the joy of knowing that my family wasn’t going anywhere. No matter what mistakes were made, forgiveness was a priority. If you ask them they are far from perfect, if you ask me that are nothing but perfect. Perfect in every situation. Perfect for catering towards my personality vs my brothers. Perfect for dealing with the ups and the downs of relationships, work environments, and life. I am so thankful that I can bring those feelings of love and commitment to the relationships around me.
The important thing that I like to keep in mind is forgiveness and acceptance. Acceptance of who people are and forgiveness of what someone may have done. Most of the time people don’t do things to hurt one another. We do things for selfish reasons. Just like I don’t want my mistakes to determine who I am to someone, I don’t want their mistakes to determine who they are to me. Life is way too short to hold grudges against anyone. I remind myself to love people for who they were and who they are now. I learn to love the insecurities people around me hold along with the confidence they carry. I am learning how to stay when my initial reaction is to run away. I am learning how to not give in to my fears and insecurities and I notice that is what we all are doing. Trying to love and accept others for who they are which starts with loving and accepting our own being. If someone treats me badly I think it is important to still find forgiveness. Once I find forgiveness I ask myself if their energy is the vibes I am looking for to surround me.
Life is kind of like a rollercoaster. It takes you up and drops you down. Sometimes events happen and they bring us lower than what we want to go. Just remember we always come back up and that’s the surprise inside and the thrill of the ride.
Song to Contribute to this post:
Check out my WebSite
My YouTube Channel
Comments
Post a Comment